12:30am

I can't sleep. Aunt Katie just got to our house from work, ready to babysit tomorrow, just like every week at this time. Daddy is sawing logs, sometimes so loud it startles you, but a little shush and back to sleep you slip. Everyone is tucked in for the night, even Ellie is curled into a ball on her bed next to ours. I have to work in the morning too, but I can't stop staring at you.

My beautiful girl. You are perfect, from your whispy hair, to your picturesque little lips, to your sweet button nose, to the little breaths you take making your tummy gently rise and fall. Sometimes you yawn and make the cutest most content noises, or you stretch, rub your eyes and peek out at me before falling asleep again.

What are you dreaming about? I wonder to myself if your dreams are of me or Daddy. Or even your Grandparents or Aunts or Uncles. Or light, colors, feelings. Maybe you dream about God, or angels.

I can't help but kiss you. Even though it's a risk that you might wake up.

Oops. You just did. You rub your face into the sheets and then start squirming around. You throw your hand on my chest...find a bit of my hair to pull... And in an instant we're together. Momma and Baby. You're comforted, content, and drifting back to sleep. I reach down and hold your hand, your tiny fingers holding my thumb as you continue to nurse.

We didn't intend to co-sleep. I'm glad we do, I wouldn't want to miss this.

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